Ghosts of My Past and Angels for The Future

This past week I had family members in town from Idaho, California, and Oklahoma. This was the first time ever that my Aunts, my cousins, and their children have seen each other all in one place at one time. So as the anticipation for the weekend came closer, I got a nervous twitch the closer the week came to an end. What are they going to say or think about me, what are they going to think about my own family and is there anything that I did in the past that will affect the way they portray me in the present? These are the questions I kept asking myself all week.

The weekend came, Heather, Mia and I drove to the Woodlands to see the other side of the family. Well, to put my immediate family in perspective, I have decided to let all the people who read this know where I am coming from.

I came from a broken family. My Mother and Father divorced when I was in grade school. The last thing I remember is my birthday party in a tree house my father and grandparents had built me. After the divorce, I spent the rest of my childhood being bounced from my mother to father. I have lived in over 26 different apartment, houses, duplexes, and not to mention attic space at my aunts, which I remember a lot of squirrels. All in the amount of 9 years. I cannot say I had the roughest childhood and I cannot say I had the worst childhood, but a learning experience for the life journey of building your own family. Kind of like a how-to book on what not to do in the future. But this weekend has showed me a lot. It showed me that I have family that love me and care for me out side of my own family ( Agnes, Nestor, Pam, Zach, Heather, my nephews, and my own children). Not that my mother and father don't care for me, but it is a simple thing like showing that you care and acknowledging the fact that I'm here and I'm not a chore or a burden. I love both of my parents but sometimes a random call or a happy birthday would be nice. Actions speak louder than words in my book. And when little to no effort is made to be a part of mine or my family's life, then it affects me. That is all I have to say about that. I also want those who may take this the wrong way to know that I am grateful and respectful for the most part to both my parents. I just wish there could have been more stability and communication.

Love you all more than you assume I do. I am just tired of being the mediator for communication and care. I have my family and I am doing whatever it takes to make sure that they are well taken care of.